Dabstrag Sasstragnib is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witty giraffe.

Dabstrag Sasstragnib created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabstrag Sasstragnib, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dabstrag Sasstragnib, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dabstrag Sasstragnib's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dabstrag Sasstragnib's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never paint your hands purple.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing violet rings and balancing four silicon spheres on your chest.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.