Sogmegwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful aardvark.

Sogmegwap created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogmegwap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sogmegwap, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sogmegwap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Sogmegwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Sogmegwap loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry great tits.