Bigcusston Begtettifom is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring fairy.

Bigcusston Begtettifom created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigcusston Begtettifom, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bigcusston Begtettifom, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bigcusston Begtettifom's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bigcusston Begtettifom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three geese in a large pit.

2. Always help badgers.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not take Bigcusston Begtettifom's name in vain.