Tittoncad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced snail.

Tittoncad created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tittoncad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tittoncad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Tittoncad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tittoncad's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Tittoncad loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.