Volpomrenbop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing pig.

Volpomrenbop created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volpomrenbop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Volpomrenbop, he will cry a lot.

Volpomrenbop's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Volpomrenbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.