Japhinmab is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, weak raccoon.

Japhinmab created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japhinmab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japhinmab, she will turn you into a duck.

Japhinmab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Japhinmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Japhinmab.

3. Otters are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to cats while wearing green kilts.