Bonktalmon Gofkopmot is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking bear.

Bonktalmon Gofkopmot created the Sunflower Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktalmon Gofkopmot, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonktalmon Gofkopmot, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bonktalmon Gofkopmot's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bonktalmon Gofkopmot's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never eat bark.