Jintarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, prudent donkey.

Jintarp created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jintarp, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jintarp, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jintarp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never bounce near moths.

3. Never leap in the presence of birds.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near manatees while wearing mauve shoes and balancing five zinc spheres on your chest.

5. Always stare at clouds.