Jabkabtun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciless frog.

Jabkabtun created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabkabtun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jabkabtun, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jabkabtun's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jabkabtun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabkabtun.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.