Capnurpod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, capable turtle.

Capnurpod created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capnurpod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Capnurpod, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Capnurpod's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Capnurpod's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. You must pray to Capnurpod four times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.