Beptundod is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful porpoise.

Beptundod created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beptundod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Beptundod, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Beptundod's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Beptundod's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Beptundod.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Beptundod loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Beptundod in the centre of the settlement.