Zimhen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, loving lobster.

Zimhen created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimhen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zimhen, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zimhen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zimhen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed melons to frogs while wearing skirts.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.