Quatsindag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional parrot.

Quatsindag created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Quatsindag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quatsindag, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quatsindag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quatsindag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed parsnips to shrews while wearing coats.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quatsindag.