Femvaddiss Podbonbom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic centaur.

Femvaddiss Podbonbom created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femvaddiss Podbonbom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Femvaddiss Podbonbom, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Femvaddiss Podbonbom's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Femvaddiss Podbonbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Never hop in the presence of snails.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Always wear red.