Tigmeggem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented hummingbird.

Tigmeggem created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigmeggem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tigmeggem, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tigmeggem's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Tigmeggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Tigmeggem loves voles, so they must be respected.