Betsigquill Tofgepnan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic spider.

Betsigquill Tofgepnan created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betsigquill Tofgepnan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Betsigquill Tofgepnan, she will be very sad.

Betsigquill Tofgepnan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Betsigquill Tofgepnan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never play with disobedient children.