Homkikcun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, conceited giraffe.

Homkikcun created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homkikcun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Homkikcun, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Homkikcun's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Homkikcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink tights.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not laugh in public.