Nutjapmifstanstergumgom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, vain jaguar.

Nutjapmifstanstergumgom created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutjapmifstanstergumgom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutjapmifstanstergumgom, she will cry a lot.

Nutjapmifstanstergumgom's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nutjapmifstanstergumgom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nutjapmifstanstergumgom on top of all buildings.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.