Quatwotvil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced mole.

Quatwotvil created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatwotvil, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quatwotvil, he will have a low opinion of you.

Quatwotvil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quatwotvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured whales.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quatwotvil.

5. Never paint your feet purple.