Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident penguin.

Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog, it will turn you into a snail.

Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Sidmotjinshavnil Xuckkamdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat figs.

4. Never think about optics near badgers while wearing red kilts and balancing five zinc spheres on your legs.

5. Respect your elders.