Pigjabban Gedliplen is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful owl.

Pigjabban Gedliplen created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pigjabban Gedliplen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pigjabban Gedliplen, it will think nothing of it.

Pigjabban Gedliplen's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Pigjabban Gedliplen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear indigo jumpers.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. Always pray immersed in water.