Farnbeplarp is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, narcissistic mouse.

Farnbeplarp created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnbeplarp, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farnbeplarp, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Farnbeplarp's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Farnbeplarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to music.