Lamkabhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful raven.

Lamkabhiv created the world three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamkabhiv, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamkabhiv, she will torture you forever.

Lamkabhiv's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Lamkabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not stand on grass.