Yatt Flowarffen is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous donkey.

Yatt Flowarffen created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatt Flowarffen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yatt Flowarffen, she will laugh at you.

Yatt Flowarffen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Yatt Flowarffen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near voles while wearing indigo coats and balancing four nickel spheres on your head.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Do not cook food in pots.