Rapjatmif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-confident jackal.

Rapjatmif created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Rapjatmif, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rapjatmif, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Rapjatmif's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Rapjatmif's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow turtles, for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.