Figbumraw Cepwikbog is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sapient hedgehog.

Figbumraw Cepwikbog created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Figbumraw Cepwikbog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Figbumraw Cepwikbog, she will destroy your favourite star.

Figbumraw Cepwikbog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Figbumraw Cepwikbog's Holy Commandments

1. Figbumraw Cepwikbog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Run away if four ants approach from the east.