Zakgamfit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able chicken.

Zakgamfit created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakgamfit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zakgamfit, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zakgamfit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zakgamfit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zakgamfit.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.