Yamyogquill is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, clever guinea pig.

Yamyogquill created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Yamyogquill, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yamyogquill, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Yamyogquill's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yamyogquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near pigs while wearing indigo trousers and balancing seven carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Always look after injured birds.