Gubtontim is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying elephant.

Gubtontim created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Gubtontim, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gubtontim, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gubtontim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gubtontim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never wear cyan jumpers.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near pigs while wearing black coats and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.