Ligmatgut is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, astonishing crane.

Ligmatgut created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligmatgut, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ligmatgut, it will turn you into a tree.

Ligmatgut's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Ligmatgut's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think ill of sick geese.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ligmatgut.