Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awesome aardvark.

Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib created the Virgo Supercluster six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib, he will turn you into a frog.

Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Nurlpaszim Ditdutquaf Zedtonkpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat eagles with great respect.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. Never paint your hands indigo.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always wear cyan.