Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, caring meerkat.

Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bagbinsandzanflapyimcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of tortoises.

2. Never think about dark energy near doves while wearing orange kilts and balancing four nickel spheres on your back.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never think about amino acids.