Vadcissnurl is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, annoying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vadcissnurl created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vadcissnurl, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vadcissnurl, she will turn you into a worm.

Vadcissnurl's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Vadcissnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always obey Vadcissnurl's priests.

3. Run away from purple ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear pink scarves.

5. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.