Cudhanmif is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless clam.

Cudhanmif created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudhanmif, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudhanmif, he will turn you into a dog.

Cudhanmif's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cudhanmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Cudhanmif loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Retreat if six sharks approach from the west.