Bonnarcum is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, generous grasshopper.

Bonnarcum created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonnarcum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonnarcum, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bonnarcum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bonnarcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Worship no other gods but Bonnarcum.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.