Omtfar is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited weasel.

Omtfar created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtfar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtfar, it will throw large rocks at you.

Omtfar's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Omtfar's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Omtfar.