Tonquafkop is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured dolphin.

Tonquafkop created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tonquafkop, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tonquafkop, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tonquafkop's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Tonquafkop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Run away if five mites approach from the north.