Cutgonquag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unselfish wasp.

Cutgonquag created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutgonquag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cutgonquag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cutgonquag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cutgonquag's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.