Yarrapaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking fairy.

Yarrapaf created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarrapaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarrapaf, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yarrapaf's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Yarrapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.