Gadnakbag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, deceitful whale.

Gadnakbag created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadnakbag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gadnakbag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gadnakbag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gadnakbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Run away if five dolphins approach from the west.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Gadnakbag's name in vain.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.