Bass is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, benevolent penguin.

Bass created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bass, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bass, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bass' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bass' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to porpoises while wearing yellow stockings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.