Hinnelltim Jabvonkon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless deer.

Hinnelltim Jabvonkon created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinnelltim Jabvonkon, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hinnelltim Jabvonkon, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hinnelltim Jabvonkon's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hinnelltim Jabvonkon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hinnelltim Jabvonkon first in all things.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Fast once a month.