Hoglooppom is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful goat.

Hoglooppom created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoglooppom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hoglooppom, it will turn you into a plant.

Hoglooppom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hoglooppom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Worship no other gods but Hoglooppom.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Retreat if four badgers approach from the north.

5. Always take life seriously.