Arpgonmil is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured meerkat.

Arpgonmil created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpgonmil, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arpgonmil, she will turn you into a frog.

Arpgonmil's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Arpgonmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.