Rutbomvegtontartetti is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate parrot.

Rutbomvegtontartetti created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutbomvegtontartetti, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rutbomvegtontartetti, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rutbomvegtontartetti's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Rutbomvegtontartetti's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rutbomvegtontartetti.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Retreat if nine swans approach from the east.