Gofgofkom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, strong mouse.

Gofgofkom created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Gofgofkom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofgofkom, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gofgofkom's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gofgofkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.