Hinsafbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak gorilla.

Hinsafbonk created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinsafbonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hinsafbonk, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hinsafbonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hinsafbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near tapirs while wearing purple jumpers and balancing four silver spheres on your neck.

4. Hinsafbonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not shave your arms.