Hamgepjat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, charitable naga.

Hamgepjat created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamgepjat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hamgepjat, it will strike you with lightening.

Hamgepjat's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hamgepjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing five silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Do not make images of living things.