Yamqueegpogteennan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional parrot.

Yamqueegpogteennan created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamqueegpogteennan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yamqueegpogteennan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yamqueegpogteennan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yamqueegpogteennan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five platinum sculptures of Yamqueegpogteennan on top of important buildings.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never paint your arms gray.

5. Always help monkeys in need.