Latbugtafflap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair swan.

Latbugtafflap created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latbugtafflap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Latbugtafflap, it will turn you into a plant.

Latbugtafflap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Latbugtafflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always obey Latbugtafflap's priests.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always wear black.